Nail Art? Sure, we can call it that.

9:30PM, me to husband: “In case you were wondering, I’m having a nail art disaster over here.”

Oh man. There are reasons that the most adventurous nail art I’ve tried is ombre nails (painting each nail a different variation of the same color).

1. I generally steer towards the quiet and the classic. My most favorite nail colors are tomato red and a true fuchsia. I typically admire fancy nail art from the safety of my pinterest home screen.

2. I’m too lazy to attempt fancy nail art. Once that polish is on, it’s not coming off until it’s peeled halfway off my nail by the end of the week.

Enter the glorious Emily of Cupcakes and Cashmere. Oh Emily, you make me feel so empowered, like I’m just a regular girl with effortless ombre hair, a closet full of j.crew, and of course the coolest, most subtle nail art on the block. C&C posted this polish tutorial recently and I couldn’t wait to give it a try. “Wow!”, I thought. “It’s so easy that the video doesn’t even have broken down instructions! I MUST be able to do this on my own!”.

I should have known better.

I chose three colors I already had on hand in various shades of pink. “Totally office appropriate” and “This is going to be sooo cute and soo easy!”, I’m thinking.

The goods:

Every thing was going pretty well in the beginning. I had my two base coats of pale pink on and I started the sponge on my medium pink. The medium pink ended up being too light so I mixed the darkest and medium pink together on the sponge. Things were still OK at this point, not the best, but I thought I was making headway towards a good first nail art attempt.

Then came the dreaded stage three, and it all went down from here.

Step 3 involves painting a thin strip of your darkest shade at the top of your nail (french mani style) and then you’re supposed to be done. Nails are supposed to be perfect.

I looked jacked up. Cuticle bed to tippy top of the nail. So then, in an attempt to blend the polishes together I took my sponge and started blotting.

Bad idea.

The sponge started pulling up random bits of polish, and well, you’ll see.

 

The right hand turned out a little better since I had learned from my left hand mistakes.

I’m too lazy to remove the polish on the left hand, so it will have to stay for now. Please someone else try this and either fail miserably with me, or do a really awesome job and tell me how I managed to mess up a completely fool-proof method of nail art!